31.07.09



Drawing a bath--
she pours the whole sea
around her castle

          Asahi Haikuist Network July 31th, 2009


Kommentare:

Devika hat gesagt…

Now, what does this mean, Ralf?

though i can read it in more than one way, i am not satisfied...i would love to hear more from you :)

wishes,
devika

Rudi Pfaller hat gesagt…

The small things contain great ones. That's an important element of haiku. You demonstrated it! Well done!

Best wishes
Rudi

Dalloway hat gesagt…

this is delightful, Ralf, very touching

(thanks for your kind words today - you are so good at interpreting verse)

Masago hat gesagt…

Yeah!...

RBroeker hat gesagt…

Thank you everybody for your kind comments. And sorry, Dev, for to be to mysterious with my verse.

At least there are many layers and perhaps I am able to open the box with the origin of it:

Filling the bathtub the narrator remembers the day at the beach. His daughter has built a sand castle with a moat around. She went to the water, filled her little bucket und poured it in the moat. "I will put the whole sea in", she says - and smiles. It is the same smile she has now - for she is already sitting in the bathtub.

Best wishes
Ralf

Lorraine hat gesagt…

Your story is beautiful but I wouldn't have know it by your Haiku...you would have had to make some kind of connection - at least 'memories' wise or else there's no understanding

RBroeker hat gesagt…

"I wouldn't have know it by your Haiku"

Don't worry, Lorraine. This should be a poetic piece, not a journalistic report. I just tried to give a key to Dev, the verse itself belongs to the reader. There it works. (Or not.)

Best wishes
Ralf

Devika hat gesagt…

Okay Ralf....i was missing the latest scene on the bathtub...just the beach, and there was some confusion if she was choosing the sea around sand castle iself as the bath ...and then it was a young woman :)

its always nice to know the poets mind...it fascinates me no end :)

wishes,
devika

Lorraine hat gesagt…

I appreciate that and yet your thoughts are so beautiful, I greedily want to know the story lol

Laure hat gesagt…

Ralf, such wordpaint!

RBroeker hat gesagt…

Thanks a lot. I am very pleased about your postings.

Best wishes
Ralf

Magyar hat gesagt…

The moat... between she and the troubles of the world; these moments... in another realm.

Well done Ralf!
_m

T.Migratorius hat gesagt…

I love this Ralf! I can see all the wet sand left at the bottom of the tub when the bath is over.

Robin

RBroeker hat gesagt…

Thank you very much, T. and _m. I feel honoured.

Best wishes
Ralf

gautami tripathy hat gesagt…

It brings the whole ocean to me!

Eema Levanah hat gesagt…

Lovely!

RBroeker hat gesagt…

Thanks a lot, Gautami and Eema.

Best wishes
Ralf

jem hat gesagt…

I like the sense of perspective in this. When we are young little things seem so much larger. It's good not to forget that.

RBroeker hat gesagt…

Tanks a lot, Jem. And I hopefully never will.

Best wishes
Ralf